Man steals dogs, makes lard, sells to neighbors

A 70-year-old man from Wieliczka, in the south of Poland, was arrested today for stealing dogs. He admitted to having stolen dogs for the past fifty years, making lard of them, and selling it to his neighbors.

He was arrested for having stolen the one live animal in his apartment, which he intended to kill today. The man’s apartment was found to contain many dog collars, muzzles, and leashes of the animals he stole.

The man admits to having killed the animals, boiling them down, and preparing smalec (lard), the Polish delicacy. He has been selling this spread to his neighbors for the past fifty years.

It is still unknown whether or not the police will prosecute the man for illegal food production and distribution. He does, however, face up to two years in prison for stealing dogs.

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